Welcome to my journal

Sometimes it's really hard having 2 kids.  Not exactly hard in a demanding physical way, more of a mental, emotional way.  The past 3 and a half months I just don't feel like I've been able to give as much attention to Bailey that she deserves.  It seems I'm always rushing her through everything, morning routine, bedtime routine, homework, even walking!  Things about her that I never gave a second thought to, now, I'm ashamed to admit, get on my nerves, and I hate that.  You honestly could not ask for a better big sister.  She's not demanding of me, has nothing but kisses for Aubree, loves it when people give her attention, always wants  to push the buggy, even buys her things with her own money.  It really hit me last night, when exhausted, I was getting Bailey ready for bed and it seemed I fussed more than anything, over things that normally wouldn't bother me at all.  The whole process took all of 10 minutes, and the way I acted, you'd think it took hours.  I didn't seem to hurt her feelings, but I'm sure she knew I was agitated.  When I laid down with Aubree a few minutes later, it hit me how different things were.  There used to be a time we'd take forever with bedtime, and it didn't bother me in the least.  We'd scratch each others back, masage eachothers shoulders, and her favorite, rubbing lotion on my feet.  When I was pregnant we did this often, and more times than most, I laid with her and told her stories and scratched her back until she, or I, dozed off. The last 3 and a half months, she's went to bed alone, with me in the other room with Aubree, and she's never shown the first sign of jealousy.  Last night it really bothered me, and I had her crawl in bed with Aubree and I and she wanted to rub lotion on my pigs.  (Only a crazy person would turn that down)  It broke my heart, that after that long of less and less attention, she still wanted to do something really nice for me.  I'm not sure what I did to raise such a sweet little girl, but I'm awfully glad I did.  From now on, I'm making a conscious effort to make more time for her.  Because I think it really is things like that that little girls remember from childhood.  It's a tradition I hope to continue with Aubree.  To me bedtime is also cuddly time. 

Will have to post on the awesome weekend we had in a bit.  Bailey was in Gatlinburg with her grandmother so it was just Scott, me and Aubree.  Friday we chilled at home.  Daddy got to babysit by his self for a few hours and they got along wonderfully!!  Then he went out and got my favorite food, hot wings!!!  We had some wings, and nachos and watched a movie and crashed early.  Saturday we got up and went to a vineyard in floyd VA, Villa Appalachia, to an olive tasting....had an absolute wonderful perfect time, will give details in a bit.  Macy's rocks!!

Aubree

RIght now you are setting behind me in my office in your Rainforest Swing and squealing away.  I haven't been keeping up well with the letters to you, but I wanted to especially write today to remember your most recent accomplishments.  When you giggled out loud a  minute ago while talking to the doggy in your book, it made me want to remember that now, cause I know when you get a little older, giggles won't be as rare.  As it is now, you never let us down with your big, wide mouthed toothless grins.  You literally plaster one as soon as you wake up, and just about anytime anyone speaks or looks at you.  You are content setting in your swing, even with no motion, or laying on a blanket or in your crib.  When someone walks you around, your little head doesn't stop turning from side to side as you try to take everything in.  You are a curious one.  Your big eyes are always lit up and sparkling.  Your newest development, is your ability to make really high pitched sqeals, and you love doing it over and over.  You've started squealing as loud as you can, and it's almost like you are singing.  And speaking of singing, you LOVE to be sung to.  No matter how out of tune or out of key, you love anything music related.  I think you're going to follow in your daddys and his mommys footsteps there.  He is an awesome guitar player, while your grandmother teaches piano.  Mommy can play the flute and so far your sister hasn't really shown any desire, other than to play her music all the time, and loud.  You are definetely growing up in a loud boisterious household.  And you've already begun adding bits and pieces of your personality to the mix.   And we wouldn't have it any other way!!

Love Mommy